” Here I go with my hard sayings again, but I keep thinking of a little seed we plant.  It grows first of all maybe one a beautiful flower and while it is there nobody sees it much but it can see an feel the warm sunshine and feels a measure of safety and familiarity. When the flower starts fading, that little seed is ready for something, but first of all it gets stripped away from it’s hiding place either by the wind or some strong hand;

However it happens, that little seed has a lot of potential that will only be fulfilled one way…So into the ground that dear little thing goes, buried beneath the cold unforgiving soil where it can no longer see the hand that buried it and the warmth of the sunshine is distant at the most. How forsaken it must feel! I wonder what it would say if it could speak… Do you think it longs to see or at least feel the sunshine?  But it’s left to a lonely death with no evidence that there is any future ahead—

Why does a seed even begin to grow out of such a miserable state?  How can it?  If you will notice= it doesn’t begin either until a bunch of rain (trials? tears?) dumps on it… more misery, we think.  And why does the gardener smile when it rains?

I wonder… what could ever grow up out of such conditions?  But it does.  What is inside that little seed?  A promise, a life, a future beautiful and perfec t(it can’t change into something less)… Why then must it go through this death process so brutal? But something stirs deep inside as the sun begins to draw life through the dark soil.  The sun is there, unchanged, warm and faithful- real, alive.  The seed can’t feel it’s direct rays but it knows somehow that it’s up there somewhere.

 Brave little seed, you will grow if you reach for the sun… You feel forsaken, but you are not.  The sun is warm and true above your cold coverings.  You will see it soon if you yield yourself to the Hand that tends you.  Oh, how He must long to uncover you and protect you from death.  But He knows it would ruin you… and so He waits for the rose.

Hey, and just for your encouragement, I see a little seed hurting like crazy all cracked and splintered cause there is new green life bursting up from inside of him… COURAGE, my friend!  We love you very much.”

“A GOOD MARRIAGE IS MADE OF TWO VERY GOOD FORGIVERS.”

 It’s true. 

 Out of all the good forgivers in the world, how did it come to be that mine is the best?  I’m not worthy, but I’m thankful to God, and to him.

Lord, teach me how to let You love through me fearlessly.  Teach me how to trust You to keep my heart pure and my motives right in every circumstance You allow.  My heart is bleeding, God.  How must Your heart bleed much more.  Here we are, living in America where Christianity has subconciously become a form to many of us.  There are so many faces here, faces that are caught in the swift current of activity and the spoil of instant plenty.  Behind those faces live hearts… so many broken hearts, because of broken lives- broken by sin and the great famine of true love in our land.  Many of those faces have become a facade of happiness… just a facade.  I think of Your Son Jesus, and I know if He would be here, He would be going about touching those hearts with such a profound love that the tears would finally release, and He would bring healing through His eternal love and forgiveness.  Oh, God, how can so much pain and fear and rejection remain buried and uncared for when so many profess Your love with their mouth? 

So please, God, please make us willing vessels of Your love, sanctified and full of Your Spirit and wisdom!  Please make us willing to walk humbly and quietly like Jesus did, and not fear the devil’s darts of suspicion and misunderstanding around us.  Help us to love quietly and deeply, ready at any moment to lay down our life for those You love.  Thank-you so much for Your distinct call to be a friend to sinners.  Thank-you for loving me, a sinner.

In Jesus’ name I offer this prayer…

Looking at that title, I feel a twinge of guilt.  How quickly things can change.  I should admit that yesterday I was just plain grouchy and I didn’t like myself at all.  I don’t know all the whys, but I do know that it was the first day home after a flying trip to PA with just one of my girlies.  The other two were cared for by cousin and aunt at home, so we were all having quite the day blending our lives again yesterday. 

But, after some TLC for all four of us, and some spontaneous tears for all four of us, some nice long naps, and Daddy’s good solid presence in the evening… my heart was once again thankful and dislike for myself just inspired me to gratefulness for Who God is in my life.  And that is why I am out to express joy this morning.

Sometimes I feel like a special needs child in the eyes of God.  I learn slowly and mess up so often, but He never gets impatient with me (unlike me with my girls).  He just loves me and remains what He always is… a strong tower and refuge for my heart to run to and find strength to go on in faith, in spite of circumstances.  He doesn’t deny my sin either, but when my heart is overwhelmed by its fickleness, He stands by with forgiveness in His heart, grace on His lips, and love in His touch.  My heart responds with humble gratitude when I see Him for who He is, and once again, I love Him more deeply than before. 

Thank-you, Lord, from the depths of my heart.  I want to be more like You.

My little cousin has battled with leukemia for 1 1/2 years now. This morning, she got home ahead of us, and is now safe in the arms of Jesus. It’s not hard to imagine her being scooped up in Isaac’s arms as well, and hearing his gentle words, “Hey, what’s going on, little girl? Who are you?” I wonder what he’ll say when he finds out that Janelle’s big cousin was sort of his big sister. I bet he will keep tabs on her just because…

Once again- joy and pain so closely intertwined, they are one…

Please pray for Janelle’s Mommy and Daddy and her brothers and sisters who love and miss her so much (Darren, Rodney, Becky, and Sherilyn).

Click here to see a slideshow of Janelle and her family

A lovely good-morning to the world.  I told PD this morning that I was going to be busy today without time to be on the computer…  I just had to pop in here for a few seconds and say how much I love that man.  Well, I couldn’t really do that.  It would take too long, and words are too cheap at times like this.  But I was looking at his really cute work up there on our header, and just bursting with the joy of his humor.  And I just realized how crazy and full and delightful life really is, living with him and his three intelligent, mud-puddle-loving, summersaulting, life-loving girls.  We are all so not perfect with all our little personality quirks and training potential (at LEAST the girls but especially mama) and plenty of ground to cover on the journey of life with God and each other.  But I’m telling you, we love each other, and that makes all the difference!  On Sunday, I listened with deep admiration to my husband expounding on 1Corinthians 13.  I was so convicted and challenged and blessed with the wisdom of God expressed through His Word and my man.  And I was thankful… thankful for all the things God has done and is doing in our lives to make that a part of us.  Today, even as I realize profoundly how needy my heart is, I want to thank God with all my heart for what He is in our life.  And I want to thank my husband for showing the love of Christ to me.

Especially… when he comes home far too many days to find crumbs all over the floor, laundry half done, clutter not picked up, girlies with hair in their eyes, kittens mewing in the bedrooms, wife looking weary, food still cooking or worse yet, not cooked at all, etc., etc..  but he smiles at us, hugs us and still tells us he loves us. 

Thanks, Honey.  Maybe soon I can make this all up to you.  Thanks for your patience through my sickness, and even when there is simply no excuse.  I love you!! 

So we decided to do a family photo shoot. Not feeling it necessary to hire a professional photographer, we turned to none other than my (little) sister! (And [of course] her gifted and attractive sidekick) This is some of what we got, with the kids and all. They’re really into nature and stuff. I mean REALLY INTO it. So much so that photo shoots go totally and completely against their natural tendencies. We had rocks, sticks, bark, branches, flowers, weeds, and a baby bird involved in the shoot. I am not making this up. And if you notice, ALL of my children are girls. You know – sugar and spice and everything nice!

The girls certainly have a wonderful mama, don’t they?