The Weaver Family Blog

We spent a few days at the beach in Tela, Honduras.

…and there is an old one of their Mom and Dad… mmm, I love that guy!

photo credits: David Peight

That was the title of the message we heard yesterday. I listened, saturated with joy… unable to remain silent the whole way through. In fact, the joy was so powerful, I suddenly became aware of clenched fists in my lap. :)
Why have I lived so much of my life knowing this was true, that He could be alive and real within, but having no idea just HOW real, how deep and lasting the joy and life could be…?
Looking around, the desire springing up in our hearts was obvious. And suddenly, I realized, knowing that Jesus can be flowing like a fountain through our hearts, literally pouring out of our bellies as rivers of living water is one thing… and HAVING Him be just that… is as close to us as one little moment of faith.
God will cleanse our hearts of the blocks of fear, condemnation, confusion, religion, and discouragement, in a moment, if we ask. He promised. And when they are gone, we can reach out, and grasp something REAL. We can touch Him… be filled with Him… love Him like never before.
And then, Christ within becomes EVERYTHING. And our life is no longer our own. We become the most joyful possession we have ever been.

I know it’s been way too long since we have updated anything on here, but life has been moving right along for us. We are grateful to God for His unchanging and steadfast love through anything life brings us. Last Friday Leeny was diagnosed with viral meningitis, and she has been pretty much flat on her back since then. We ended up in the ER yesterday for a while and did some more extensive testing, and thankfully nothing else showed up. The extreme pain in her head is lessening, thank God, and she is backing off her pain pills slowly. Today it feels like she is finally over the hump, and headed back to normal. Thanks to all who were praying for us, that was a great encouragement to me. It was definitely a strange way to celebrate our ninth anniversary.

God is good.

All the time.

We are a little behind the times here, but just had to put in a little post about the week when our dear friend Beth came down.  We met Beth and her parents during our trip to Honduras last March.  Between my fresh grief over Isaac’s death and the grief in Beth’s heart over leaving her little sisters and her brothers behind as she and her parents headed for the states,  we connected.  We have since developed a very precious friendship.  Thanks, lil sis. :)  Beth’s life inspires me continually, because I see her drawing comfort and grace from a Strength much greater than her own. I am so blessed by her ability to thank God for her pain because she knows He loves her and will somehow make beauty from the ashes in her life.  Her presence in our home brought much cheer and delight.  The week went way too fast, but we enjoyed it immensely, and Beth left us with lots of sweet memories… and PHOTOS!  We haven’t had a camera, so I’m posting some of Beth’s pictures for your enjoyment.  All credits to her!  I love you, Beth.

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Tonight I was lying in bed after PD and I prayed and he had fallen asleep.  I desperately needed to talk to God.  I haven’t been spending the time talking to Him that is so vital to maintain the life inside.  As I lay there talking to Him, and felt His love and His grace and His life welling up like a fountain inside, I was overwhelmed by Him.  It still baffles me how He can live inside of us so intensely… so incredibly real.  How can He be there, where all my humanity and sinful tendencies lie?? But He is.  His forgiveness is so secure.  His grace is like an ocean.  His love is unfathomable and unquenchable.  His conviction is sweet.  His LIFE is unending.  He is real.  He is there.  He is not some distant figure who frowns upon us as He waits for us to attain a great measure of holiness before we can feel His Presence.  His Presence reaches us when we admit our sinfulness and are honest about how much we need Him.  His forgiveness removes our sin far from us and His love overwhelms our weak and faltering hearts.  His grace pours over our insecurities and drowns them in the security of Himself.  His LIFE resurrects through the death of ourselves… oh, ouch.  Perhaps so many of us stop at the forgiveness and receive only little bits of His grace into our hearts at times because we are afraid to feel the pain of death.  How often have I done it myself?? How often have I turned my face away from the Spirit of God because my heart was overwhelmed by fears.  Oh, Lord, please forgive me for grieving your Spirit at times… for exchanging your LIFE for my fears.  I would rather hang on to them because they are so familiar and limiting?  But oh, to discover the fountain of joy that erupts when the pain and the death is accomplished within me!  Like the little seed who at last lay cracked and splintered to reveal his worthlessness inside, still contracting from the last throes of pain as he surrendered to his fate… Suddenly, from above, the LIGHT shown through into his very heart and with that light came LIFE, beautiful, vibrant life erupting forth, engulfed by the warmth of the Son and straining toward Him with everything he has been given.  Thank-you, Jesus!!!
 
Last night, we visited PD’s parents,  and I was searching through the bookshelves for a good book for my daughter to read.  I stood there gazing at the wealth of good reading material… so many good books.  ‘Faith’. ‘The Gift of Intercession’. ‘Complete in Christ’. ‘A Set Apart Life’.  ‘The Purpose Driven Life’.  ‘The Grace of God’.  ‘The Bondage Breaker’. 
 
Those are not all actual titles, but I am quite certain there was a book for each of those subjects, besides many more.  I thought about our little joke about writing books, and how I actually would love to write one sometime if God gives the inspiration and the time.  But I realized… another book to stash on our bookshelves would be nice… but even if people read it, and perhaps are even blessed and touched by God because of it, will it really make a difference??  That got me thinking further.  What will make the MOST difference?  God will.  So God can and does use books.  But what is the most powerful tool in the hands of God and His people?  Perhaps prayer?  But even that, will it make a difference unless HE is in it and it is full of HIM and HIS life moving in our hearts towards Himself?  So it must absolutely be the work of God for any of these good things to be genuine fruit of His Spirit and Presence in our lives.  And what will move Him toward us but prayer… groanings of honesty from our own hearts reaching towards Him in faith?  What will move His heart towards His faltering children to strengthen their faith but the prayers of their brothers and sisters??  Is there really time to pour my life into anything else, or to have anything else poured into my life, but prayer??
 
Tonight… as I lay upon my bed and I thought of all the questions that I have heard coming out of the honest hearts of myself, my husband, my children, and my friends, those questions and groanings gave way to a picture in my mind of a group of hungry children, our arms outstretched and grasping heavenward, our eyes gleaming with tears and incredible hunger… we are reaching for life.  We are reaching for Him.  Some of us lose our way in the search.  We become discouraged by our circumstances, not realizing that the things that make us feel our inadequacies so keenly have been allowed by God in His mercy because He knows they provide the best opportunities for us to find Him.  Sometimes we are discouraged by others who have quit their search, or become satisfied in the good things they have found.  Some of us turn away from the light to find the answers within ourselves.  We raid the resources and intellect God has given us, finding plenty of good theories and raising good questions, trying to analyze them and reach a logical conclusion.  Yet we remain unsatisfied, for our conclusions are human, though the very best of humanity there is to be found. It is not enough.  Others of us look within ourselves for the beauty we yearn for and we find some… but it doesn’t satisfy and we end up enjoying ourselves and disliking Christianity, but we are still hungry.
 
While my mind ponders these pictures, my heart is pulsing with Love, Life, and a Joy that cannot be explained.  And I wonder… how can what we are searching so earnestly for be so simple, so available to us, yet be so hard to find?  I think of how Jesus came, swaddled in humility from the day of His birth.  I think of how He walked among men and women, quietly, no big ado, just love… forgiveness… healing… a tenderness beyond what any of us realize.  I think of how He was so often silent, but He was God. I think of how He faced the eager religious leaders with sobriety, how He understood their human tendency to see only what was on the outside, and not the heart.   Yet He could not condone this, for He looked on the hearts of men.  I think of how Jesus received the blessings and worship from sinners, and forgave them.  I think of how He ate with the publicans and the harlots, loving them, but never touched by their sin.  I think of how He healed the sick, cast out demons… how He expounded the kingdom of God to His disciples in parables, so they could understand.  And then, what suffering He endured, cruel accusations, and revilings He was unworthy of.  He took it silently, for us, because He loved us.  He died. He resurrected!!
 
That Jesus Christ has made it possible for Himself to dwell within us, to change us into His image, by the Spirit of God.  It is Him that we are reaching for!  We are yearning for Him.  We are seeking Him.  He is the LIFE, the LOVE, the FORGIVENESS we all long for.  But our hunger for Him will only be satisfied when we choose the path that leads to Him…  We need willingness to be buried with baptism in His death and resurrected through His Spirit to LIFE in Christ Jesus.  We need willingness to walk in that life, which invariably means death to ourselves.  We must accept His will… to be vulnerable and honest before God and man, to not shun the rejection nor fear the misunderstandings of those around us, yes, sometimes those we love the most. We simply must be willing to be like Him, to live like He did.
 
It sounds so hard. It sounds so… painful to my heart.  But as I feel that deep joy welling up and spilling over the agony of death, my heart says AMEN.
 
“Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

Today was the day for farewells, it seems. Brother Motz and Sister Joy are leaving for a time and several months, respectfully. In honor of these events, we had a meal together at the family home. And then tonight Uncle Juniors were farewelled at the Cleveland church, so that brought many fine people together. At least we have plenty of reminders that we’re not really home yet.

Anyway, we took advantage of the photographic prowess of one of our relatives today to get some family shots to use on our upcoming Thanksgiving/Christmas/Holiday cards. These are several attempts that were taken. The final version will be different, I promise.

A happy good-morning to all our patient friends out there.  We don’t seem to be too great at keeping our blog updated.  Hopefully you understand a busy phase of life and blogs kept for necessary little outpourings of thoughts occasionally.  But I thought you would all enjoy a little catch-up on familiar happenings from our home today… perhaps?

PD is busy at the store, just having finished their 5th anniversary sale.  He is also adjusting to having both his co-workers desert him recently to pursue other interests (Ahem!), so that has created some new challenges for my amazing man.  Honey, I so respect your ability to manage it all yourself, and THEN come home an manage your wife and children.  :)  Thanks for your patient, kind example of Christ’s love to us.  I pray He will reward you with a wonderful relationship with God every day, and whatever else your heart desires, although I don’t know if He would include that computer you would love to have or not.  :) Sigh… the only time I wish for lots of money is when it’s time to buy a gift for my man!

The girlies and I have finally started school.  Last year was a bit of a negative school experience for Esther, with Mama sick on the couch too many days to count.  This year, along with a deep gratitude for my improving health and stamina, my goal for this school year is that learning will be fun for the girls, and we will have good memories of doing things together, even if the books aren’t perfectly completed!  We’ve got to make up for lost time here.  Yet even as I say that, I know that the truth of the matter is that the time has not been lost.  Those lessons God taught me through my weakness are truly invaluable.  I can never scorn the deep heart-searching of God in me or the bittersweet moments of having absolutely nothing to give my family, and finding His grace and strength to far surpass my own.  I can never disregard the deepening of my faith in a God Who is truly amazing, or the way that He drew my focus deeply towards eternity and the real purposes of God in our lives.  I thank Him for His redemptive heart that is seen even now in our home as He guides my focus to the hearts of my husband and children in a deeper way than ever before.  He is a good God and He is the essence of Love… true Love.

Wish I would have pics of the FUN time we had yesterday, but we are greatly lacking a camera presently… so I shall try to describe to you the joy we discovered in something very simple.  I had a flashback of ecstatic memories of walking along our old farm lane years ago with my bosom friend, picking all kinds of weeds and berries and grasses to make fall bouquets.  Instantly, I thought of my little girls and their love of nature, and the plan was formed!  We pulled out the stroller for wee Meg so her legs wouldn’t  get so tired, and off we went, trumping along our road in search of many beauties.  All three girls had a basket in their hand, and Mama carried the scissors.  :)  We had a virtual blast, finding bright red berries and white daisies and all kinds of exotic-looking weeds and wheat, even some perfumed stuff and purple-colored grasses… and of course, added the wonderful allergy-laden mustard flowers for the bright yellow accents.  :)  We chattered and exclaimed over every new type.  Not every day do the weeds in the neighborhood get so much admiration!  Our return was triumphant with unbelievably beautiful bouquets in our baskets, flushed faces, and tired feet.  Once again, I decided that we are meant to live much closer to the earth than we do; the simple things created by God yield entirely more real pleasure than all the plastic toys in the world! 

I think I will post some pictures of our wild girly family, and our wise, handsome Dad!  Blessings to all of you and may you find your All in All in Jesus today…

                            My intelligent, thinking, reader girl…

           My butterfly girl!                                     My BUSY sunbeam! 

                                                   Beauty

                                           And we all fall down!!!

                Ecstasy                                          The journey of life goes on…

                               I wonder HOW I got into this family!!

                                          Precious cuddle time

                                                Sitting Pretty

                                             I love my Mama!

                                          Jaime means… “I Love”

                                      The Ultimate Quiet Time

            Water-lover Jaime                                 ‘Here, Mom, its for you, a mud cake!’

Here’s  what happens when we visit Dad in his nice furniture store!!!  NOT 4 SALE!  DISPLAY ONLY!

Wise old Dad… Best lover in the world… my sweetheart.  Thanks, Honey, for all you do and all you are.  We love you!!

And we just can’t forget our beloved Cabob… ‘big brother’ to some little girls who always wanted one!  Lil bro (to PD n I), we love you and thank you for letting us be a wee part of your life.  God’s plan for you is amazing and beautiful, and though the journey is watered by tears and change, we are excited for the sweet relationship you are building with Him.  God’s promises for you are true!

                              And here is some of his awesome photography!