Here I am, at last sitting in Uncle Junior’s living room in Erandique, Honduras. Anyone who could complain about the weather here would have to be insane. The temperatures are simply perfect, and there is always a lovely breeze. I have often felt this unique restlessness deep inside about the accepted way of life in the US … life inside a house with doors and windows relentlessly closed. It seems to me that it is more natural to live at least half of our lives out of doors. Sure enough, it’s true. Here the house is built in an “L” shape with open doors to each room leading to the courtyard. The living room has one door which opens on the streets of Erandique. The children have had a wonderful time playing with Philip and Amy and Greta, climbing trees, digging in the sand, ‘training’ Mocha, and finally, building a relationship with “Bird”. Their sun-tanned faces betray the virtue of life outside, and the dirty smears on their faces are certainly not a down-side to all the adventures since the pila provides a  constant supply of clean water. Personally, I have reveled with delight in joining the other ladies in washing mounds of laundry with Mattie’s wringer washer, a recent upgrade from the accepted way of scrubbing everything by hand. When we aren’t busy cooking, washing dishes or laundry, we enjoy the outdoors and each other from the very hospitable porch that also faces the courtyard, or walk the stony streets of Erandique to find food and greet many warm faces along the way.

We arrived here on Thursday afternoon. I had been previously warned of the grueling ride back here through the mountains, so I was pleasantly surprised to find it quite tolerable. I decided at the end of the trip that it is wearisome only to one’s bones, because my spirit was incredibly refreshed by the grandeur and beauty all around us as we wound through those mountains. After the past couple of weeks of dealing with grief in my heart, and longing to be with Isaac’s family, God ministered deeply to my heart through His amazing creation. The children were faced with the more practical side of things. They did very well nontheless. As we bumped over our last blocks through the town of Erandique, Dad W. commended Jaime on her good tough behavior. She responded, “Well…right now I feel kind of untough.” 

We were very happy to arrive at Uncle Junior’s front door, and the first person to greet me was dear little Amy. It was so good to hug her tightly and finally tell her how much I love her. Briana and Greta were next and then Joy, Melissa, and Shanna… tears at last as we embraced and felt so many things together. They were all there, and I can’t explain how good it was to hug them all. Baby Weston is such a sweet comforting presence here. When I hold him, I feel as if I am holding a little piece of Heaven, and when I look into his beautiful eyes, I see Isaac. It was so good to see Junior and Mattie, too, and all the dear cousins. This trip has been planned for a long time, and we didn’t dream how carefully God ordained the timing way before Isaac’s accident. I am eternally grateful for the time we have had to connect with the hearts here that have been so involved. The realities of Isaac’s passing hit home for me when I felt the pain and saw the tears in their hearts. The grace of God is certainly with them, but the crushing grief is very real. As a family, we too had to face the fact that we wouldn’t get to see Isaac again and hug him, like we had so looked forward to doing upon arrival here. We’ve had precious times sharing memories and laughing over things we love about Isaac, and sometimes just sitting together weeping. I have never felt such an urge to wail coming from somewhere deep inside … especially as I feel the tears in dear Joy’s heart, and the hearts of Isaac’s beloved sisters, and his now adopted brothers who were with him at the river. I have also never been so grateful for the kindness of God, as we marvel over the miracles He has performed through this tragedy. This whole experience has deepened the urge in my heart to know Him more … to explore the unfathomable greatness of One Who understands our little human hearts and cares for our needs so carefully, yet He is so much greater than us that we simply cannot understand His ways at times.

On Saturday, Daniel and Melissa and Weston, Joy, Shanna, Briana, Greta, Amy, Michael, Caleb, Rosie, Micah, Rachel, Philip, Beth Eicher, PD and I and girlies all piled into and onto a truck and drove the 20 to 30 minutes up to visit Isaac’s gravesite. I can’t explain the feelings that went through my mind as I sat there at the spot where Isaac’s body was laid to rest, and viewed the awesome beauty all around. There was a distinct realization that he wasn’t there, and at the same time I felt the crushing finality of the fact that his life here is over. I was overwhelmed with God once more as I thought of how He has embraced Isaac and showered him with love, and how He honored Isaac’s unique personality in so many ways through this time. He comforts us all with how much He loved Isaac’s heart and respected him as a person by orchestrating the details of his passing from life to LIFE. I know that even Isaac would not have honored himself as much God did by giving him such an awesome place for his last adventure on earth, as well as the tiny little gathering at his burial and the incomparable beauty of the spot where his body is laid to rest (please forgive all the adjectives … the English language can be terribly flimsy at a time such as this).

We had a precious time together planting flowers by his grave and watering them. That was very healing for me, as well as to sit and talk with Joy, sharing the loss of a life so loved, and at the same time celebrating the LIFE of one so loved. I still shake my head every day, and wonder at God.

The past few days have passed sweetly. PD and I thoroughly enjoyed the young people here. Perhaps we shall never grow up. We don’t even care … we love their young hearts and love to glimpse the work of God in them. We are serving the same God with the same human hearts and so we are one of them. I have also delighted in Isaac’s little sisters and the beauty that is in them.

This morning we said good-bye to all of the Coates, Daniels, Caleb Kanagy, Michael Brubaker, and Micah Troyer. What a lot of farewells to people who are all very close to our hearts! What a deep achy hole they left! Dear ones, our hearts and prayers are following you earnestly as you travel those many hours to face a home without Isaac that holds so much of him yet, and as you prepare for the memorial service on Sunday. We are sad to miss it, yet we really won’t since we will only be absent in body. God bless every one of you, and God bless every one of our loved ones at home. We really love you.

We, along with PD’s dad, are currently moving our things to Daniel and Melissa’s house, where we plan to live for the rest of this week. We hope to spend part of next week with Steve and Rosetta and family before heading home to NC. We look forward to enjoying these next days with Juniors and the youth that are still here. To those who are wondering, I am LOVING my time with Mattie. :-) She’s sweeter than ever.