Oh, I want to be like Him!  How the cry rings out of my soul, and echoes again and again.  How I want my heart to be transformed … not just conformed.  His yearnings, His love, His visions all stir from deep within my heart, and give me not a moment’s languish here on this earth.  To think that He could possibly inhabit me totally and completely seems so impossible, a weak and sinful human being like me.  But faith says He will, and He does.  If He will, He may.  Even so, come, Lord Jesus!  Slay every morsel of self.  Cut down every high and lofty thought that is selfish.  Inhabit my soul, my heart, my love, my life, with the incredible essence of Yourself, Your love, Your life.  For You have created each one for a specific purpose.  There is a plan, though different for every person, it is all the same to you … to bring glory to Your Name.  Please help your children to lift up their feeble eyes and gaze into their source of life, of strength, and see the purpose for which they each are created.  You are amazing!  Words fail me.  The joy seems to burst forth from faith deep within, and a human heart can scarcely contain Your joy.  Oh, where shall I go to express Your love?

And You say, “Right here, my child. Right here are your loved ones.  Your husband, your children are here with hearts just like yours.  Let My love fill you to overflowing and let it spill out on their hearts every day.  Intercede in the Spirit for their eternal destiny. Love them. Forgive them. And love them some more.  And there.  There are the people all around you.  When you ask them how they are, mean it.  Let my Love overflow out of your heart and pour over their discouragements, their turmoil, and their pain.  Lift their trembling, fearful hearts up to Me, for in Me is all the healing, all the Love, all the forgiveness they are looking for.  Let them see through your very existence that My love for them is established and unchanging.  Let them see by your willingness to believe and walk in My forgiveness for your own heart that I have forgiven them, I will never stop loving them.  And let them see by your willingness to release them to Me, their only true Source of love, that I respect their free will, and I give them the choice to accept My unfathomable love for them, and oh, the anguish of true love … I also give them the choice to reject it and walk away from Me.  That is love.  It protects, pursues, and weeps longingly.  But it never forces.”  

You are God.  And I love you!!

Our almost-Christmas baby is two already.  Oh, what fun to introduce a toddler to her second birthday!  From many, many attempts to get two fingers in the air instead of one, to listening to her Daddy drill her repeatedly on “How old are you?” 

“I’mmm one … TWO!”  It’s great.

Due to our travels to and from her mama’s family on and around her birthday, and then much more socializing with Daddy’s family in NC as soon as we got back (the disadvantage of being born between Christmas and New Year’s), I don’t have the typical pictures of blowing candles and messy face that I would like to post.  But I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that we are truly grateful for our little daughter’s entrance to the world two years ago.  She is very appropriately named ‘Megan Joy’ as she has filled our world with literal delight.  She hasn’t struggled with living life yet.  It is all a grand adventure to her.  She wakes up with a bright smile of anticipation and plenty of love to reach around.  About the only time her amiability is hampered is when little cousins come around that she didn’t know share her Daudy!  We’ll have to work on that one.  :)  Hurray for Megan!

Try having a picnic in December.  You can get by with it in NC … just so!!  This was a really fun time.  PD’s cousin, Dora and her husband were here with their very special daughters, Autumn and Amy.  Dora and I were bosom friends between about the ages of 10 and 14, and have always maintained  the kind of friendship that never disconnects.  We had four wonderful days of deep, stirring discussions as well as many giggles and belly laughs, as we caught up after many years.  Mary was with us much of the time.  They say three is a crowd … well, I have to say these three were the good kind of crowd.  We all have so many beautiful things in common, the main one being an earnest desire to walk with God.  Then, God has blessed each of us with a wonderful marriage, and all of us have little girls to raise.  God is so good.  All of those things, coupled with a very intense nature in all three of us … let’s just say, we traveled far and deep in conversation!  Thanks to all of you for a great visit.  The memories of this hike to the top of Stone Mountain are really precious, not to mention the little shiver that goes through me as I remember the cold.  Have you ever grilled hamburgers and tried in vain to warm your hands over the charcoal as you waited?

 All our girls!!

Awesome view after a very strenuous hike.

Joyful Megan, even tho’ she was so cold!

At least our hearts were warm … nothing else was …

exept maybe the van, as the little girls soon discovered!

The road is narrow, the road to You.

It’s not just the road of life, as some see,

But the way between my heart and Yours.

That way is opened by faith alone,

The Spirit of God  keeps it alive,

Myself only turns it back to stone …

How the way to Your Heart can be lost!

So, Lord, how can I make sure my way?

 Just give Me your heart, by tempests tossed,

And I will transform it  like Mine today.

Your way will be sure to the heart of God,

Your faith unshaken, your will like Mine;

And out of your broken heart will flow,

LOVE unlike any you ever will find.

Oh, to be like You, Lord!  I cry …

Tho’ inhibited by my flesh and blood,

Let all of self be condemned to die!

My heart by Your Spirit and Love be filled.

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thes. 5: 17.) There is a great difference between prayer and the life of prayer. Almost everyone prays, but very few pray without ceasing. This is the habit of devotion. This is the altar of incense ever burning in the Holy Place. This is the fragrance of a heart that lives in the presence of the Holy One, and breathes the very life of God. This is the deep undertone of a sanctified life. It is from this that the sweetness, the gladness, the holiness, and the helpfulness come. Lord, teach us the habit of prayer, the prayer that springs spontaneously from the heart, and which neither secular duty, satanic temptation, nor the waves of sorrow, can interrupt, but which is only stimulated by the things that try us, until every experience becomes transformed into an occasion for communion and fellowship with God.”

I love the above quote by A.B. Simpson.  I don’t know that man, but I think he understood something that we have a hard time getting sometimes.

God has been doing a new sanctifying work in my heart, and I have been absolutely overwhelmed by His grace and love.  I am rejoicing, and at the same time, deeply sobered by the heart of God.  I have never seen so clearly how easy it is for every human being, no matter what they profess, to simply miss walking in the reality of God’s grace.  The heart of man within himself is truly evil.  If every man or woman is not willing to consider his own heart in these days, what havoc will be wrought.  We Christians say Amen to a statement like that readily, but I wonder if we have done it ourselves.  Have we asked God to show us our own heart?  Have we truly received His grace into our hearts and been filled with His Spirit?  Do we realize how serious it is for us to profess Christ if we have not?  Souls are being devoured by the enemy.  If we only see what a person does or hear what he says and don’t fight for his soul with true faith in God, do we realize that we can thoughtlessly shove him right over the brink?   Are we willing to stop and consider our own hearts before God?  Are we willing to rally for the sake of His kingdom, believe God and realize that there is no power in our own hand?  I’m convinced that if I fail to understand how helplessly dependant my soul is on God, and receive His Divine nature into my heart by His Spirit, I will never make it.  This is a true war.

                 

                                      

                                                              

This is just a little spill of happiness.  I want to thank God for allowing me to be mother to three of the sweetest girlies ever.  Circumstances have forced me to slow down lately, and I’m so glad.  The three little faces that dance around me daily have become my greatest priority throughout the day, along with walking with God and loving my hubby.  I am learning to focus on them more, not just in a surface way, but to see them for who they are, and appreciate their individuality and amazing beauty.  God is truly amazing when He creates children.  I thank Him for letting us experience them daily.

My heart has just been full of appreciation and love for the man God has given me.  Sometimes the deep love for my husband seems almost too sacred to share, simply because people will not be able to understand the depth, or else I just know that I’ll never use words that do justice to the truth of the matter.  But sometimes … well, it just overflows!  The last seven and a half years have been so rich and sweet.  Life has been real and we are real people, but that just makes the beauty of two lives joined as one so much more obvious.  It amazes me that God knows so well who will make the best team as husband and wife.  He sees our intricate needs so much better than we ever do, and He fills them exactly as needed.  I’m so thankful for the foundation He gave us in the beginning of our relationship, the peace He pronounced on us which has followed us through life and guided us every time we sought His will in anything, and for the loving husband I am with every day that I do not deserve.  Thank-you, Honey.  May God reward you and prosper your life with Him forever!

Sweetest Hubby

Best Daddy

One of my favorite grins!

Daddy makes life so fun!

What a handsome wagon load!

Favorite snack with favorite people!

Sweet slumber with Daddy!